You’ve chosen the venue, picked your colour scheme, chosen the outfit and chosen your Celebrant – now let’s talk about vows. Most people start to sweat at the mere mention of writing their own vows, let alone reading them aloud in front of every single person they know. It’s the number one question I get from couples when we begin planning the structure of their wedding ceremony, how the hell do I write vows?

Here are some tips and ways to get your creative juices flowing to help you write meaningful, heartfelt, and personal vows.

  • Set boundaries – Consider setting a word count limit or set the number of sentences you’ll both write, or even a time limit! This will alleviate the worry that they’re not long enough or stressing about them being too longwinded!
  • Why not try the bookend approach – By ‘bookend’ I mean, have the exact same first sentence and exact same final sentence and then put your personalised vows in between, like a vow sandwich, so both sets of vows feel similar, but still tailored to each of you.
  • Add some ‘Promises’ and some actual ‘Vows’. These sentences start like this:
    • I promise I will / I promise to be / I promise we will….
    • I vow to / I will always / Together we will…
  • Be honest – don’t write what you think you should write. Be honest with everything you promise and everything you vow to do. If there was ever a time to be honest, your wedding ceremony is it!
  • Include something funny – there’s nothing like a giggle to break the tension! It will make you feel more relaxed as you read allowed the rest of the soppy lovey vows. However, this is not the time to embarrass your partner…. Save it for the speeches if you must!
  • Share a (quick) story or anecdote that showcases your love and/or your relationship – For example, the first time you met your partner, or the day you knew you wanted to marry them, and how you felt in that moment.
  • Include a hope that you have for your future – do you want to travel together, or do you want to start a family, or do you just want to grow old and wrinkly together?
  • Make sure you say I love you, at least once!
  • Use the wide and wonderful world of the internet to research (I guess that’s how you might have found this blog!) Find sentences that resonate with you and the way you feel, then tailor them to suit you perfectly.

Pro tip – Practice your vows, read them out loud and read them out loud again. Time yourself reading them aloud and ask your partner to do the same (separately), then compare. If your vows are 3 minutes and your partners are 8… we may need to chat about that.

But, where do I start?

Begin with pouring a tall glass of wine, then start answering some or all of the questions below. Once you’ve fleshed out some of your history as a couple, highlight the answers that stand out to you as the most touching, meaningful, heartfelt and fun. Keep revisiting your answers over a week or so, your favourite answers will stand out on the page. These are the answers you want to take elements from to weave into your vows.

  • What did you think when you first saw him/her?
  • At what moment did you know this person was the one you wanted to be with forever?
  • What are the little things they do for you that you appreciate?
  • Why did you decide to get married?
  • How have they changed your view of the world?
  • What do you miss when you’re apart from each other?
  • What do you have now that you didn’t before? (stick to feelings and emotions, or personality traits, rather than material things.)
  • What has your partner taught you?
  • What is it about your partner that inspires you?
  • What is it that you respect most about your partner?
  • What are you most looking forward to for your shared future?
  • What goals and values do you both share?
  • What do you miss most about them when they’re away?
  • What’s your fave thing that they do (whether they know they do it or not)?
  • What’s the most embarrassing moment you’ve had together?
  • What’s the most romantic moment?
  • What special quirk do you love about them that no one else would know?
  • What have you experienced together that you never would have on your own?
Good Luck!

Photo Cred: You, me and the sea photo